So…..I had heard that the fat one has got this new website thingy and being a modern chicken of some taste and sophistication I thought I would sneak into the big house and have a look. Although I was mighty impressed with the site , apparently some chap called Bob did it, it comes as no surprise that there is little said about the community of galliformes at the bottom of the garden and I feel it is my duty to put a that right.

I have slapped my own picture as a title on this blog, so let me introduce myself, my name is Missy, I am a cuckoo Barbu d’Anver, they also call me a Bearded Belgian which, to me, sounds like Hercule Poirot out on the lash with his fag hag. I rule the roost (literally) and I make no apologies for it. Someone has to and when I introduce the rest of the team you will understand why.

In order of appearance let me present:

  1. This is Red, she is a silkie and not a cross between the easter bunny and a proper chicken, she is the flocks maternal figure. The oldest of the hens and mother to heaven knows how many of us. She is clever, sweet natured and generally a good egg (see what i did there?). She likes to have her input and keeps us all in check. She has her work cut out just caring for us all. Hence it is down to me to be in charge and keep the flock going on a more day to day basis.
  2. RD or ‘Reds daughter’ she is a bit of a bitch, likes to think shes in charge and struts about thinking she owns the place. She is fickle and I am sure only ever goes broody to get out of doing the chores. She usually gives up halfway through a 3 week brood and the fat one has to dash about putting eggs into incubators unless Red has gone broody yet again. RD usually breaks her own broodiness at about the same time the sun comes out and the chores are done. You can also see my little niece in the corner of the picture too, her name is Quaily ( I think the fat one ran out of names, she is quail coloured, doesn’t look anything like a quail if you ask me but sometimes these humans do the darndest things) she is my sisters hatchling from last year, sadly my sister has gone to the great coop in the sky and so I like to look after her, she is a gentle soul, likes her own company and wanders about the garden in her own dream world, she is very much a free spirited hippy chick (literally).
  3. This is Tea (aka Elvis) He is the grand-daddy and a pretty chilled old man now. His head is lopsided and we think he has brain issues poor love and periodically walks backwards for a while but we love him and he is a mainstay of the group.
  4. This ball of feathers is Ruffles, he is magnificent to look at but lets face it, thick as mud, he is Red and Tea’s son and now that tea is retired from being top cock is meant to protect us and fend off any intruders, FYI he doesn’t! All fur coat and no knickers and any sign of danger he can be found in the coop pretending to inspect the eggs.
  5. Finally and no means least is Snowflake, She hatched last year and although looks like she is all fluff and no brains don’t be fooled. Don’t trust her, she’s like the Mata Hari of the group, pretty to look at and will knife you when your back is turned and another half job Harry when it comes to brooding.

There are more in the flock and there are lots more larger birds but they can do their own blogs or I will introduce them later, I just wanted to give you a flavour of who we are before they find me here and before you ask yes we chickens are far more techno savvy that you think, I mean guys its 2018 (soon to be 19) get with the programme!!! So next time the fat one heads out and leave the back door open I will regale you with tales from the bottom of the garden and besides it gets me in the warm and a break from Ruffles endless advances if you get my drift.